Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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