Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
