I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
