Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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