maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
