i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I didn't shave. On purpose
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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