she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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