So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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