Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
