too bad you live with your parents still
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
