This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
