would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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