I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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