but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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