There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
