Whoa Z and x make the same sound
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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