I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
