Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
