i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
