I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
