Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
