ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
