called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
