And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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