are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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