Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
