is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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