you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
