I bet he comes in French.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
