things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
