as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
