She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
