we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
MIDGETS
????
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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