therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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