ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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