I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
