The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
