Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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