I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
