all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
