He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
