Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
