Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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