Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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