How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
this boner is exhausting
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
