Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
