Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
