i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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