He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
