I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
