I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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